Amy Chua's arguments are not only offensive and radical to western mothers and fathers, but they instigate and reignite age-old stereotypes based on ignorant and illogical claims—most of which lack true evidence. Firstly, throughout the entire article (and even in the title) she uses the word “Chinese” or the phrase “Chinese parenting” far too comfortably and loosely. While she is of Chinese descent, she is not strictly Chinese. She is American. Why label her parenting style “Chinese,” as if to purposely ignite false stereotypes that claim all Chinese mothers use this method of parenthood? Likewise, preexisting stereotypes, like those that claim many Chinese children to be music prodigies, are proudly “confirmed” by Chua. However, these children are “false” prodigies, in that they only became so proficient at playing their respective instruments because their mother forced them to. This does not necessarily yield true “genius” attributes, as almost anyone could be as “gifted” as Chua’s children if he or she were involuntarily required to practice ceaselessly for the duration of their childhood. Because her children are seemingly “false” prodigies rather than having natural-born gifts, Chua spreads false stereotypes concerning the intelligence levels of not only her own children, but Chinese children in general.
Contrasting Chua’s unfounded conclusions about “Chinese mothers,” psychologist and author Jean Cheng Gorman, found in a study conducted in 1998 how the manner by which Chinese mothers convey their expectations are typically “subtle and rational” (79). She went on to say how “this stylistic difference, coupled with the difference in parenting philosophies, suggests the traditional concepts of authoritarian parenting may be inaccurate descriptors for Chinese parenting” (79). Gorman acknowledges that while there are many instances where Chinese parents use the “authoritarian” approach to parenting, labeling all Chinese parents as strict and unloving is wrong. Although she sardonically mocked it in her article, Chua neglected to understand one fundamental aspect about people—how each person is different and unique. Thus, assuming such stereotypes to describe parenting is inaccurate and perhaps insulting to some.
With individualism tossed aside to establish her rash parenting technique, Chua refuses to accept—or even allow—personality and uniqueness as a trait her children possess. Further sanctioning Asian stereotypes, Chua takes pride in the repression of her children’s natural abilities and intellect; she refuses to recognize her own children’s desires and passions, and instead instilled false dreams and goals in them early on. Would Chua have threatened to take lunch, dinner, Christmas, Hanukkah, or birthday presents away from them had they refused to accept elite musicianship and top grades as their goals? Most likely; in fact, it would not be a stretch to believe that she would have threatened worse. In the excerpt, Chua protests her husband’s remark about how their daughters are different people by exclaiming “‘Oh no, not this’…‘Everyone is special in their own special way,’ I mimicked sarcastically. ‘Even losers are special in their own special way’” (par. 32). Here, Chua’s tone provides context through which she is able to clearly express her attitude towards Western parenting. Sarcasm adds a layer of cynicism and hatred to her tone, overlooking individualism and free-thinking as “worthy” contenders in this great parenting-technique “battle.” By patronizing independence and individualism, she indicates an egotistical and condescending demeanor by which she and her elite prodigies can eventually rise to the top. Furthermore, she is ultimately promoting conformity and submission to her children. Raising her children to be automatons that perform on command, she expects them to act like little dogs whose only pleasure comes from the happiness and pride of their master; she is thus clearly the epitome of empathy.
Sarcasm aside, Chua prods not only her children in her parenting, but her readers in her language, disregarding and overlooking the values of Western parenting completely. It is simply too easy to counter argue her arguments. Her article is an open invitation and beacon for mothers and fathers to debate her unorthodox techniques. In response to similar reports to Chua’s techniques, Vanessa Fong, professor at Harvard University, analyzes in her early 2008 article how Chinese society is an “uneasy mixture of Confucianism, socialism, and capitalism,” and how Chinese parents attempt to instill values in their children that would enable them to fulfill the roles that are expected of them (Fong 115). She goes on to say how “they would have to be excellent and self-reliant enough to make their way to the top of the neoliberal world system, but still sufficiently devoted to their duty to bring their families and society with them in their uphill march” (Fong 115). Thus, while Chinese parents may say they force their children to practice their instrument four hours every day because they “love them” and “only wish for them to succeed,” the true meaning behind this smoke-and-mirrors excuse is how they may only wish to ride on the coattails of their children’s glory, forever known as the “source” of the children’s genius. Chinese culture is family-oriented and family-associated, so for every honorable deed a child commits, the credit slips through their fingertips and goes directly to, and embellished by, their elders. This “uphill march” perfectly describes Chua’s situation; while she outwardly claims that it is for the benefit of the child, the only real benefit is for her to feel better about herself and her parenting. However, it is clearly evident that her parenting is not as well-appreciated by her Western counterparts.
Chua’s skewed perception of successful parenting not only creates an unhealthy home life for her children, but damages their self-esteem. She dictates how “the solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child” (Chua, par. 15). Chua’s models of “successful” parenting are unfounded and only belittling to her children; calling a child “fatty” or “garbage” can only be damaging to the child’s psyche. Rather than childishly taunting and insulting a child, a parent should be encouraging and optimistic to avoid damaged self-esteem, depression, or possible violence in the child. In a study on self-esteem in Chinese and American children, psychologist Lian-Hwang Chiu found that children of Chinese families obtained lower self-esteem scores on a self-report measure than did American children (9). Likewise, the study concluded that there are several major factors in contributing to the development of self-esteem: respect and acceptance from significant others, the individual’s history of success, and the response to devaluation (Chiu 10). According to the study, “Chinese children are disadvantaged as far as these factors are concerned” as a result of receiving “less respectful treatment because they live in authoritarian families where the parents make the decisions and the children are expected to obey” (Chiu 10). Finally Chiu found that “Chinese children tend to blame themselves when they fail and give credit to others when they succeed, and thereby limit their abilities to maintain self-esteem in the face of negative appraisals” (11). The findings of this study provide conclusive evidence for the detrimental effects on self-esteem of the authoritative parenting style of Chua. Limited appreciation, emphasis on expectations, and harsh punishments only undermine the child’s success. Thus, parents should encourage their children to pursue their talents and passions to achieve happiness rather than be an unhappy product of the parent.
Chua’s arguments are not only unfounded, but stereotypical and belittling. Her scorn and disapproval of her children is unnecessary and unfounded, and can really only be detrimental to their adolescence. Although I have never met his woman, I am sure she is lovely in real life, especially considering her anecdote concerning a dinner party she once attended where she made the other woman cry simply by describing her parenting techniques. Yes, I am quite positive that she is “special” in her “own special way.”
Works Cited
Chiu, Lian-Hwang. “Self-Esteem of American and Chinese Children: A Cross-Cultural Comparison.” 97th Annual Convention of American Psychological Assosiation, New Orleans, Louisiana. 1989. Web. 27 February 2011.
Chua, Amy. “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” The Wall Street Journal. 8 January, 2011. The Wall Street Journal. Web. 19 February 2011.
Fong, Vanessa L. “Parent-Child Communication Problems and the Perceived Inadequacies of Chinese Only Children.” Ethos. Volume 35. Issue 1 (6 January 2008): 115-117. Web. 27 February 2011.
Gorman, Jean Cheng. “Parenting Attitudes and Practices of Immigrant Chinese Mothers of Adolescents.” Family Relations. Volume 47, Issue 1 (1998): p. 79. 1 January 1998. Web. 27 February 2011.
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